we counted all our reasons
by yulbos
Summary: "They'd stolen his clothes. Okay, so in all likelihood, Josh had stolen his clothes, while he had been in the bath. He'd even taken his glasses." Everyone's alive AU.


**because I can't seem to title anything unless it's song lyrics anymore, this one is from George Ezra's _Blame it on Me._**

* * *

They'd stolen his clothes. Okay, so in all likelihood, _Josh_ had stolen his clothes, while he had been in the bath. He'd even taken his glasses. The fucker.

Still, Chris supposed as he stumbled over to the bathroom door, one hand held out in front of him so he could feel where he was going, and the other holding up the towel he'd hurriedly thrown around his waist, it could be worse. Probably. He was having a hard time seeing how. Although, to be fair, he was having a hard time seeing _anything_ without his glasses.

He opened the bathroom door and nearly tripped over his own foot as he stepped out onto the landing. "Guys," he called, once he'd reached the safety of the bannister. He sighed when he heard the tell-tale sound of Jess giggling somewhere downstairs. "I know I'm hot, but I'm pretty sure there are laws against this."

This time it was Mike who laughed and Chris rolled his eyes. "I mean, I have no problem walking around like this. But I'd hate to upstage you all like this."

He had been counting on someone having some sympathy for him, but when it didn't like there was any coming, he huffed and squared his shoulders. Stepping back from the bannister, he slowly moved to the top of the stairs, using the railing as a guide. His eyes were terrible anyway, but the lights were off and he could barely see where he was placing his feet.

"If I end up flashing you, it's your own fucking fault, I'm just saying."

His toes had barely brushed against the step below when a hand shot out of the darkness and gripped his wrist. No matter what anyone later said, he did _not_ scream, because the noise that came out of his mouth was perfectly manly, thank you very much. There was a quiet laugh and then the warm plastic of his glasses was being pressed into the palm of his hand.

"Josh was gonna hide them." Ashley said, smiling slightly when Chris did nothing more than blink at her in confusion as he pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

"So you, what? Rescued them before he had a chance?"

Ashley flushed at the implication and shook her head. "Sam distracted him and I stole them off the top of the pile."

"Oh." The towel slipped slightly and Chris hurried to straighten it, clearing his throat when he noticed Ashley tracking the movement. "Well, I, uh, thanks." He said dumbly, his tongue feeling heavy in his mouth.

"No problem." She replied, the corner of her mouth quirking up. "I'm not helping you get the rest back, though. You're on your own for that part."

"You are oddly cruel." Chris grinned. "Well, alright. I suppose I should at least pretend that they're in any way subtle."

"Please," Ashley said whispered, leaning over the railing to see if anyone downstairs was listening. "This is _Josh_. He wouldn't know subtle if it smacked him in the face."

Chris bit back a laugh, and would have crossed his arms over his chest if not for the fact that he was worried that if he did, the towel might end up on the floor. "Good point." He bent forward and clasped her shoulder loosely, leaning into her so he could mutter quietly in her ear. Her hair tickled his nose and he brushed out of the way, tucking it back behind her ear. "If you run now, they probably won't catch you." He wasn't sure whether he imagined the colour on her cheeks or not; even with his glasses on, his eyes were shit.

It took Ashley a few moments to respond, and her voice was a little higher than usual when she did. "Thanks for the advice."

"Anytime." He could feel himself growing awkward. It hadn't really occurred to him before that he was half naked in front of _Ashley_ and that she was standing there. _Looking_ at him. He cleared his throat and rubbed a hand over the back of his neck, gently scuffing his foot against the floor. "If I don't go and play along, Josh will probably burn my clothes, just to make a point, so I should probably –"

"Yeah, of course." Ashley said quickly, moving out of the way and making a jerky shooing motion with her hands. "Go, save your honour, or something."

"It's not my honour that needs saving." He murmured as he brushed past her. He heard her snort as she followed him and when he turned to smile at her, he missed a step. The only reason he didn't go careening down the stairs was because Ashley moved extremely quickly, her hand darting out and catching him by the forearm.

"It's a miracle you've made it this far." She told him as he righted himself. Miraculously the towel was still safely secured around his waist, and his shoulders sagged in relief.

"So I've been told."

Ashley's hand danced down his arm until her fingers were wrapped loosely around his wrist, not quite holding his hand. He frowned and tilted his head in confusion. "Knowing you, you'd fall and break your neck if I left you on your own."

"That's," Chris floundered for a minute, trying to come up with an argument and when he couldn't, he scoffed. "Probably true, actually." He didn't bother saying it was her fault he'd tripped in the first place.

.

He could see Josh in the kitchen, focussing on getting an even amount of tequila in the row of shot glasses he had lined up. They only had the strip lights under the cabinets on and it sent Josh's shadow racing out into the hall. Ashley let go as they entered the room, offering him a small smile as she moved away. She joined the others at the island counter, where they were poring over something intently although he couldn't make out what it was.

Josh looked up when she walked past and grinned. He raised his eyebrows and wolf whistled, which made Chris huff out a laugh.

"C'mon, cochise. Give us a show!" Josh commanded, lifting the bottle of tequila in salute before taking a swig. The others jeered, Mike whistling loudly as Beth and Jessica cheered.

Chris made a show of spinning in a slow circle, his arms raised above his head. He kept a close eye on where Josh leant against the counter, not trusting him to not try and steal the towel too.

"Happy?" He asked and Mike whistled again in answer, causing laughter to ripple around the table. "Now that you're done ogling me, can I have my clothes back?"

Josh took another long pull from the bottle and then handed it to Chris, nodding approvingly when he drank. "Yeah, they're this way." He pushed off the counter and sauntered back out into the hall.

Chris followed, somewhat apprehensively. He glanced over his shoulder as he left to find Ashley watching him. Because the lights were on, he could actually see her blush slightly this time and he felt himself begin to smile.

He trailed after Josh to the laundry room, where they'd 'hidden' his clothes in the washing machine, where he placed the bottle. He'd managed to pull on his boxers and jeans, the towel in a heap on the dryer, and had his t-shirt halfway up to his head, before Josh spoke again.

"So, how'd it go?"

"How did what go?" Chris asked, lowering his arms down again and frowning.

Josh made an exasperated noise and wrinkled his nose. "With you and Ashley." He waggled his eyebrows and leered, laughing when Chris gaped at him.

" _You set me up_?" He hissed, looking around to make sure no one could hear him. "Dude."

"Oh come _on_. You like her. She likes you. Not exactly rocket science, bro."

"Even if that were true," Which, admittedly, seemed a lot more likely than it had a few hours ago. "Let us figure it out on our own."

Josh groaned, rolling his head back and looking forlornly up at the ceiling. "If we left it up to you, you'd still be dancing around each other at eighty."

Chris was going to argue that point but then Josh's words caught up with him and he stopped, his mouth still open as he blinked. "'We'? What do you mean ' _we'_?"

Josh stared at him as if it was the dumbest thing he had ever asked, and the slow way he said "Everybody's in on it." didn't exactly help. Before Chris could protest, he held up a hand. "It was Hannah's idea."

"So you're all just messing around with my love life?" Chris demanded, but he wasn't really angry. When you were friends with Josh, things like this just happened sometimes.

"No." Josh said, pointing a finger very close to Chris' nose. "It's your _lack_ of love life we're messing around with."

"'Cause that's gone _so_ well for you so far." Chris muttered drily. He blew out a breath and then pulled his t-shirt on.

"It's not my fault you wasted a perfectly good opportunity." Josh grumbled back, shoving against Chris' shoulder as he walked out the door, snagging the tequila on the way. He wandered back in the direction of the kitchen, bowing with a laugh when the others cheered.

Chris shook his head in fond exasperation and moved over to the island. Sam shuffled out of his way with a quick smile that he returned.

"Seriously, man. I've never seen you so much as run, how did your arms get so –?" Matt trailed off, gesturing at the nearest of Chris' shoulders.

"He has to carry his ego around somehow." Emily shot back from the other end of the table. When he looked at her, she raised an eyebrow and then winked.

"If that was true, you'd look like a body builder." Jessica said with a laugh, shrugging when Emily turned to glare at her. "It's true, Em."

Emily said something in retaliation that was too low for Chris to hear, but it made Beth laugh so hard she started crying. Chris watched them for a few moments, only noticing that Ashley had joined him when he felt the press of her fingers against the palm of his hand.

Neither of them said anything, but Chris moved his hand until their fingers were wrapped around each other and then smiled at her. She didn't smile back at him, not quite, but she did lean her head against his shoulder and stroke her thumb across his fingers.


End file.
